My synthesis

Going through the Spring Festival time into the new year in China is like a bride going through the honeymoon of a new marriage, full of excitement, full of happiness, and full of wonderful expectations of the future. But like anything in the world that has a flip side of it, the Spring Festival also has its share of pain and suffering. The pain and suffering of a honeymoon is usually the first fvck. The first fvck of the Spring Festival is without a doubt Chun Wan, the unavoidable, the unshakable and also the unwatchable national cult show that is not immune to the usual pain and suffering associated with the first fvck. For those who will not accept their fate and decide to fight back this painful experience, I have developed the following top 10 list of advice that might be of help to survive the ordeal. In the spirit of the Letterman tradition, let us count down our list:

10. If Chun Wan is like the first fvck of the honeymoon after all, then have the real first fvck instead, I mean the first fvck of the new year. Do a lot of preparations though, if you want to match Chun Wan’s stamina, as it is notoriously long. Be considerate to your partner, and be considerate to your body as well.

9. For those the unfortunate who can not find a partner, or who can not afford a partner, you can always come to this forum. Man or woman, you can always count on a good conversation with dgateway at least, maybe as good as the real thing.

I absolutely know that I need the confidence, every time, when I see some kinds of competitions held in my school, I really want to have a try, however, I’m lake of the confidence.

I know, I know that I should take part in some competitions, I should believe that I have the ability, I can also do well in such things, I certainly can be as excellent as other people, but I don’t have the confidence, I’m afraid of being laughed, I’m scared that I would perform something bad in front of the spectators, I’m sure that I have no confidence. What should I do?

Three years of university life has passed away, only one year left behind me, and the time is limited and I even have no chance to do something that I’m longing for, although, I’m craving for that……

If given a chance to say my wish, I’d like say that I hope that I can restart my university life !

File photo taken on Feb. 19, 2007 shows staff of China Giant Panda Protection Research Center carrying Xiang Xiang’s body in Wolong, southwest China’s Sichuan Province. Xiang Xiang, the world’s only artificially bred panda living in the wild, was confirmed dead on May 31, 2007. Experts speculated that Xiang Xiang might have fallen from a high place after getting into a fight with the original “residents” for food or territory. Xiang Xiang was found dead on snow-covered ground on Feb. 19, some 40 days after scientists picked up the panda’s trace for the last time via a wireless tracking device it wore on its neck. Officials attributed the long delay in publicizing Xiang Xiang’s death to the need for a full investigation

China is, for the first time, showing signs of faltering. So far it has been nothing but growth on an amazing scale. Now the forecast is that in China there is oversupply of personal computers, suggesting the industry is entering a period of slow growth.

According to CCID Consulting, sales of hardware, software and IT services reached US$15.8 billion in the first six months of 2006 with a growth rate of 15.8%. Desktop shipments rose 17% year-on-year to 4.1 million units, but revenues only grew by 11%, indicating shrinking profits of computer makers.

Sales of computer monitors even suffered a negative 4.8% growth, though the shipments rose 15.4% to 5.08 million units. These figures may be skewed by the fact that there is a move from the old cathode-ray tube (CRT) to the new liquid crystal display (LCD) monitors.

At the same time, the global trend is from desktop machines to laptops, a shift that could have grave consequences for China’s vast array of PC and component makers. This serves to reinforce the fact that there are two very separate markets here: China itself and the rest of the world.

GLIDING across the border in a 30-limousine convoy, Roh Moo-hyun, South Korea’s president, will on October 2nd visit Pyongyang and meet North Korea’s capo, Kim Jong Il, for three days of talks. It is only the second summit between the two sides since their estrangement in a civil war over half a century ago.

The first, seven years ago, was between Mr Kim and Mr Roh’s predecessor, Kim Dae-jung, who launched a “sunshine policy” towards the North. The meeting generated euphoria among South Koreans and won their president a Nobel peace prize, but produced little else. Kim Jong Il never came to Seoul, as he promised he would. Relations deteriorated between North Korea and the United States, South Korea’s protector. And last year the North tested a nuclear bomb, to the region’s dismay. As for the summit itself, it later transpired it was bought with cash passed under the table to the Dear Leader.

Mr Roh knows things have changed. The national mood towards reconciliation is subdued, even sceptical. Lacking Kim Dae-jung’s charisma, his own political authority is at rock-bottom, after an ineffective presidency; he stands down at the end of the year. The only constant is that the summit’s agenda is whatever Mr Kim decides it will be, and that he is not letting on: so, as one of Mr Roh’s advisers delicately puts it, the summit is “open-ended”.

Three months have passed since I entered university. I belong to the tennis club, which is great for my health. In the club I have made a lot of friends but, sad to say, I don’t have a girlfriend yet.
I am very busy with lessons this first semester. English is a required subject, so I have to get at least a pass. I had a good shot at the questions on the English exam yesterday. I probably scored at least 80 points. However busy I may be with my part-time job and other pastimes, I attend my language classes as often as possible, because if I am absent from more than one-third of the classes, I cannot get the credits whatever the reason may be. I spent much time preparing for Chinese, but the lesson was cancelled today!
Tomorrow is the deadline for my physics paper which took me three days to write. I hope to major in science education in the future.

Last week, you grew restless. You kicked and punched harder than ever, trying to come out to see the big world. I understand, you have grown so big now and my womb must be very small and uncomfortable for you. But my dear, please be more patient. You need more time to get stronger. The outside world is exciting, but also scary and tough. It’s very dangerous for you to step into this world if you don’t prepare yourself well.

To prevent you from preterm delivering, I had to stay in the hospital for a whole week. It was a very long week for both of us. I was forbidden to get off the bed except go to the bathroom. But even I was allowed to, I couldn’t. The drug they prescribed made me dizzy and my head spinning all the day. I could barely extract myself from the crippling and filthy hospital bed where I’d been crashing on for almost a whole week. Several times, I woke up, sweat-soaked. My forehead pounded, my stomach churned. I concentrated all my energy on not passing out again, and tried to figure out the puzzle: how could this whole mess happen to us?

Am I such a terrible mother that you can’t wait to leave me? Perhaps it is true. I always tried to be strong and might have ignored the warning signs you had passed to me. I hated to be regarded as the weak, so I kept ing like usual. But to have you growing inside doubled my burden. And I forgot how fragile you really are. Sorry, honey, as your mother I should know better than that to protect both of us. But I promise you, I will be good for the rest of time. So please be good too, just two more weeks are enough for you to get ready.

Sometimes, I wonder, did my inmost fear and insecurities you sensed that make you decide to come out in such hurry? I am not strong and brave as I appear to be. You must know that, right? We are so tightly bounded together. You know exactly how I feel, and what I think. The last stage of my pregnancy is so hard for me. The pressures I am under, and the discomforts I am going through seemed to sap my last reserves of strength. And sometimes I scared too. The result from tracing my heartbeat is not good. I can’t deliver you in the natural way. And even by c-section, the risks also existed. I put on a good face on it and call it as the doctor’s bluffing. But at the bottom of my heart, I am worried. You must know that. But honey, I am your mum. You will give me all the strength and courage I need to go through it. I am pretty sure that now. So be patient, and looking forward to the big day with me. Two more weeks would be OK….

Though both S and I tried hard to act like normal, I still sensed the tension and awkward immediately after I was back to work three days ago. Certainly two is a crowd for one post. I have no personal issues toward S. She is such a sweet girl. Given another situation, we might be friends now. We do share a lot in common. We both like JK. R and the fans of harry potter, we like to play the same computer games and like to shop at the same website.
It’s really not our faults to be in such difficult situation. It must be even harder for her. Several times I was on verge of telling her about my plan. But I chicked out because things still remained uncertain before i received the letter. Obviously boss tried to keep S after her contract falls due. Rumors that V might be transfered to CQ, and S would take her replacement. So many things are hanging there!

When I woke up on Sunday morning, it took me a moment to remember why I felt so lost and empty. I had to send you to grandma’s home last night. From now on, I could only see you at weekends. The house without you suddenly became so silent and empty. My dearest dear, how I wish I could spend more time around you! But I had to get back to work, to fulfill my responsibility besides as a Mum. Those memories of the days with you rolled over me, and I realized how much I miss you.

I miss the toothless smile you flashed at me, the cooing and gooing you made out every morning after you woke up, and the kicks you showed off so excitedly every time. I miss the way you bumped your little head against my chest, rooting around for the best position when I nursed you, and the satisfied hiccup you gave while I patted lightly on the back after you were full. I miss the most is the look on your face when you were falling asleep in my arms, so peaceful, so quiet.

Will you miss me? Probably you won’t. You are just a baby. The fact that I am your mum perhaps means nothing to you. But if you will, I would feel worried and guilty. What an odd feeling to be a mum!

Today P suddenly asked me about my plan for the future at lunch. He blurted it out without the slightest sign that the possibility of losing my job might be a painful subject. I am gratitude to it. I can take the whole thing well, but I don’t know if I can bear any sympathy from the others. Thankfully, they all seem to have a strong faith in me and believe that I could find a better job somewhere. I don’t know where they smell the rat. I guess the fact that the boss constantly ask S out for the lunch gave them a clue that my job might be in danger. Personally, I don’t think I would be fired. They can’t afford to fire me without reason when I am still in my nursing period. In fact, I once asked the boss jokingly that why not just gave me a package and sent me go, and the boss refused immediately.

But I don’t have many reasons to stay. It is quite a different picture here now. We used to work together like a big family, but now…. The persons, who I may regard as dear friends, have left one by one. It’s a miracle that I am still hanging there with all the pressures to resign. It’s time to move on and look for a fresh start now.